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20.12.2025
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I Love English

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Yo mama's so poor, I saw her walking down the street with only one shoe on. I said, ''Hey, Mrs Jones, you've lost a shoe,'' and she said ''No, it's alright, I found one''.

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Как утомить людей
Утомляем людей Ух, этот невозмутимый мужчина меня уже замучал!! Как его достать наконец-то? Как заставить его обратить на меня внимание? Нужно как-то всколыхнуть его непоколебимость.

Если вы оказались в подобной ситуации, вот вам пособие по этой теме!
  • Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
  • Ask people what gender they are.
  • Practice making fax and modem noises.
  • Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
  • If you have a glass, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  • Speak only in a "robot" voice.
  • Blow your nose when some one is eating.
  • Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "eat away your food " !
  • Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  • Name your dog "Dog."
  • Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
  • Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
  • Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
  • Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
  • Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
  • Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
  • Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  • Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  • Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
  • Drum on every available surface.
  • Staple papers in the middle of the page.
  • Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
  • Set alarms for random times.
  • Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
  • ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  • only type in lowercase.
  • dont use any punctuation either
  • Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
  • Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
  • Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
  • Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
  • Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
  • Wear a LOT of cologne.
  • Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
  • Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
  • Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
  • Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
  • Never make eye contact.
  • Never break eye contact.
  • Make appointments for the 31st of September.
  • Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
  • And finally........recommend our site to them :-)


Источник: http://www.indianchild.com/ways_to_annoy_people.htm
Категория: Юмор | Добавил: pashoklviv (24.03.2011)
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