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Главная » Статьи » Юмор
Кошачьи законы
Законы поведения котов Один известный ученый нашего времени открыл Законы поведения котов и кошек. Научно сформулировав их, он почувствовал необходимость поделиться Законами и с нами. Рекомендуется в первую очередь тем, кто имеет дома котов или кошечек.
  • Law of Cat Inertia
    A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
  • Law of Cat Motion
    A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
  • Law of Cat Magnetism
    All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
  • Law of Cat Thermodynamics
    Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
  • Law of Cat Stretching
    A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
  • Law of Cat Sleeping
    All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
  • Law of Cat Elongation
    A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
  • Law of Cat Obstruction
    A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
  • Law of Cat Acceleration
    A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
  • Law of Dinner Table Attendance
    Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
  • Law of Rug Configuration
    No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
  • Law of Obedience Resistance
    A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
  • First Law of Energy Conservation
    Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
  • Second Law of Energy Conservation
    Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
  • Law of Refrigerator Observation
    If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
  • Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
    Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
  • Law of Random Comfort Seeking
    A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
  • Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
    All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
  • Law of Cat Embarrassment
    A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
  • Law of Milk Consumption
    A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
  • Law of Furniture Replacement
    A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
  • Law of Cat Landing
    A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
  • Law of Fluid Displacement
    A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
  • Law of Cat Disinterest
    A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
  • Law of Pill Rejection
    Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
  • Law of Cat Composition
    A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Категория: Юмор | Добавил: pashoklviv (02.03.2011)
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